The Dating 'X'

I am a single girl in New York City, a status which inspires either envy or pity in others. True, being a single girl has its difficult moments; it's not easy being the only singleton in a group of couples, and it can be lonely going home alone after a long party and having no man to cuddle up on the couch with. And then there are the nights following a bad date that makes a girl throw up her hands and wonder when she will find a 'good one'. While I have found my singledom to be quite exciting and satisfying lately, I have gone on my share of bad dates.

I find that when you're dating, there's a usually a moment with a guy when the 'X' appears in your brain. It is a sudden and immediate response to your date's behavior, a response that wipes away any affectionate feelings you may have been building. The 'X' makes you wrinkle your nose, shake your head, and ask yourself: 'What the hell am I doing with this guy? Next!' In the past few weeks, the 'X' has appeared in twice in my dating exploits. Let me share those experiences with you.

I went on four dates with Andy, a recent college grad who moved out to NYC from California. We met a birthday party for my roommate down in the East Village. Our first date was amazing; we went to a comedy club down on West 14th, then to Magnolia Bakery for some late night cupcakes, and then wrapped up the evening sitting in Columbus Circle, talking philosophy for hours and observing a dizzying rush of traffic around us. Our second date was classic New York: a trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art followed by a walk through Central Park. I was really starting to like this guy.

On the third date, there was an ominous warning sign. Andy cooked me dinner at his apartment in Brooklyn, and over the wine, we shared a kiss. Mistake. He was not a good kisser. I was not eager to continue. Struck by 'sudden fatigue', I did not stay for dessert.

Not wanting to be so quick to call things off (maybe he was tired, maybe it takes a few tries to have good kissing sessions??), I agreed to our fourth date. I decided to take him up to the Columbia University neighborhood, one of my favorite areas of the city.

"Let's go see St. John the Divine," I suggested. It's the largest Gothic cathedral in the world, and needless to say, quite impressive to look at.

At this Andy balked.

"What if they're eating their Jesus crackers now?" he asked me.

"What?" I replied, not sure if I heard him correctly.

"Their Jesus crackers," he answered. "I mean, what happens when you eat Jesus anyway? What if you throw Jesus up? And what about when you poop Jesus out?"

I looked at him, unable to believe my ears. "Um, you're being kind of offensive."

"What?" he snorted. "You're not religious."

"I go to a Catholic University!" I pointed out

Andy raised his eyebrows. "Fordham is a Catholic University?"

At this point the 'X' appeared violently in my head, announcing itself with a loud buzzing noise. I had to clamp my mouth shut to avoid yelling "Next!" Suffice to say, I did not see Andy again after this. After the 'X' appears, the hapless man is doomed. And besides, this one had also been a bad kisser.

Shortly after dating Andy, I went on a date with Chris. He met me after work and we went for lattes downtown. After the lattes, we walked around for hours, talking about everything from politics to celebrity exploits. We we riding the D train back uptown at about 11:00 when the 'X' manifested itself.

"So, Annie, do you do any drugs?" Chris asked me.

"Um, no," I answered, immediately taken aback. "Do you?"

"Well, yeah," he replied, and began to detail his pot usage as well as the drugs (cocaine and ecstasy) he planned to use over spring break. The 'X' flashed brilliantly into my brain, and I knew this guy was done. Such a shame, because he was adorable.

Dating can be both exciting, amazing, and hazardous. Sometimes it's not easy finding a good guy, and I admit that occasionally I get discouraged. The 'X' mechanism prevents me from wasting time on undesirable candidates, but there's always a little let down when you realize that the cute guy is just not going to work out. The key to getting over this disappointment is the realization that the next new guy is around the corner. And in New York, anything can happen.

Time Crunch

I apologize for the recent lack of posts. It seems that as soon as March started, I have been overwhelmed with work and other responsibilities. Let me give you a run down of what I have been up to lately...

I just finished midterms last week, which is a relief. I spent way too many nights up late studying and working on papers, and I am glad to return to a normal sleep schedule. It is hard to believe that the semester is half over already!

I've been busy with choir. I'm the Vice President of the University choir, so I have a lot of responsibilities when it comes to fund raising, publicity, and organizing other events. Besides this, our spring concert is coming up (featuring Mozart's Requiem), and so our practice schedule has become quite intense. I'm excited for the concert though; the Requiem is such an excellent piece, and the choir sounds better with every rehearsal.

I've gone back to work, too. Twice a week I commute out to New Jersey to work for a contract archaeology firm. In case you don't know, contract archaeology firms are hired by construction companies before any large construction project. The archaeologists conduct a systematic excavation of the site to make sure that the impending construction doesn't disturb any historical materials (like old cemeteries). The result is that the archaeologists excavate, process lab work, and write reports in a very short period of time. You can gain alot of experience in just a few months. I worked with this firm last summer, and fieldwork is starting up again next month, so they asked me to come back and help them out. I'm looking forward to more fieldwork (it's tough but keeps you in great shape), but the commute to Jersey is a killer.

Besides school, choir and work, I've been trying to keep up with my obligation to live it up during my final semester. I've been going out, going on dates (none of them amazing so far, but what are you going to do?), and hanging out in Manhattan. I've been having a blast, but I'll admit my schedule has become quite grueling. It is not uncommon for me to wake up in the morning with puffy dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. Oh well; as my brothers always say, You can sleep when you're dead.

And of course, hanging over all of this activity is the omnipresent rain cloud called: Graduation/Real World. I still am in the process of finding a job and an apartment. It seems that every time I talk to my parents or professors, they ask me what I'm going to do come May. I always respond that it's a work in progress.

So now it's officially spring break, but I'm staying on campus for a few extra days in order to go to work and catch up on the job search. Saturday I head home to RI to catch up with friends and family, and it'll be nice to have a few days of R and R. Until next time...